Vinay Menon: Inflation is hitting the dating scene and that might be good when searching for a soul mate

Inflation is battering Canadians, including those looking for love.

These are gloomy economic times. The cost of everything from asparagus to zucchini is insane. Watching the pump numbers spin at the gas station like a broken slot machine feels like you are filling up with liquid gold. I don’t have the stomach to check on my variable-rate mortgage. But I know it’s up to no good.

It’s a miracle Justin Trudeau is not taxing this clock change on Sunday.

It is also, financially, a terrible time for romance.

The dating site Plenty of Fish recently published 2023 trends. This included “heat-doming,” which is “dating someone specifically for their household amenities.” You have a new Lennox furnace? Will you marry me?

Another neologism entering the popular lexicon: “Infla-dating.”

As in, “Going on less expensive dates due to inflation …”

The matchmakers provided an example: “I had to buy groceries this week, do you mind if we go infla-dating and walk along the seawall instead of going for dinner?”

OK! And if we get hungry, we can bob our heads in the river and catch trout with our teeth. Get dressed up and go to the theatre? Gosh, that sounds cost prohibitive. Let’s go to the park and re-enact Hamlet in our jogging pants.

Now that haywire markets and global supply chain snafus have all but turned Cupid into a racketeer, my heart goes out to those in the dating scene. Recent headlines are dispiriting: “The Rising Cost of Loving.” “Everything’s Bloody Expensive Today and That’s Affecting Our Romantic Relationships Too.” “22% Of Millennials Have Gone Into Debt From Dating Amid Inflation, Survey Finds.”

Imagine declaring bankruptcy over Olive Garden expenditures.

The worst part is these daters are not getting many, well, bangs for their bucks. I was skeptical about “shrinkflation” until I recently ordered Mexican food from a new joint. My first clue something was terribly wrong came after the Uber Eats dude left the order between the screen and front door.

He could have tucked this family meal into the mailbox.

I’m not exaggerating. The tacos looked like they were shrunk down with a space gun. I’ve never seen bite-sized quesadillas before. The guacamole could fit inside a thimble. We are not big eaters in this house. But after we were done with this Lilliputian Mexican Alimento Abomination, my daughters, their stomachs growling like wolves, asked if we had any Kraft Dinner in the pantry.

Now, since one of my personal superstitions is to be sunshiny near the end of daylight-saving time, let’s find a silver lining as daters are losing their shirts in these macroeconomic headwinds. Is there an upside to thrifty flirtation? Is there a benefit to minimal capital outlay at the start of romance? Absolutely.

Sure, you could make a reservation at the BlueBlood Steakhouse for a first date. But you will learn more about that other person by making small talk inside a Bulk Barn. A weekend in Paris brings out the best in anyone. A weekend in Peterborough brings out the truth. You want to gauge true compatibility and know if this other person warrants soul mate consideration?

Skip the costly five-course tasting menu and spend five hours in traffic for free.

The more you dole out at the start of infatuation, the greater the illusion.

On Friday, HuffPost published a story that included “less expensive date ideas.” You could, for example, go bike riding or attend a free local event. It sounds weird. But not splurging at romantic onset also makes sense and cents.

My wife and I met in high school, so I’ve never dated. But based on stories my single friends have told me over the years, I’d suggest the pressure to do it up in courtship creates false expectations ultimately at odds with domestic bliss.

If your goal is marriage and starting a family, inflation might be a clarifying tonic. You need someone who is hard-wired for baby bottles, not bottle service. You want someone you can do nothing with while at ease in the cosmos. Good relationships are perpetually pro bono. Bad ones start with wild spending.

You don’t need to wine and dine. You need to talk and talk and talk some more until you are sure this other person is worthy of wining and dining. We have dating backwards and maybe inflation, while otherwise painful, can get it sorted.

Go out when you first meet someone? No. Stay in.

Save your money for after marriage. That’s when you really need the kicks.

In researching this column, I noticed the Globe aired a podcast this week titled “Love in the time of inflation: How to manage rising costs when dating.” I’ll have to listen. Then again, I only trust Canadian podcasters I know and adore, including Raju Mudhar, Michelle Shephard and Jayme Poisson. Beyond professional brilliance, you know what those three have in common? Delightful marriages.

These harrowing times are drop-kicking our pocketbooks. I’ve done so many double-takes navigating grocery store aisles, I think I’ve permanently damaged my spine. How do grapes suddenly cost more than silk scarves?

But you know what is free? Quality time. You don’t need bank to get to know someone. You don’t need fancy restaurants and exorbitant getaways to figure out if he or she is the One. Don’t let inflation destroy your dating life.

Let it inspire a reimagining of what it truly means to be together.

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