Vinay Menon: Kid Rock opens fire on Bud Light over its deal with trans activist Dylan Mulvaney

Kid Rock murdered cases of Bud Light with an assault rifle this week.

That sounds like Mad Libs. But it’s just another Mad Boycott by Mad Conservatives. If this continues, the streets will be filled with naked and starving right-wingers who can no longer eat, drink, watch, listen to or wear anything after boycotting everything.

This tempest in a tallboy started a few days ago.

Dylan Mulvaney is an actor, comic and trans activist. She has documented her transition, one viral TikTok at a time, over the past year. She recently celebrated “Day 365 of Womanhood.” She is catnip for corporate marketers.

So to congratulate her, Bud Light couriered over a commemorative can with her likeness. Mulvaney posted a sweet and goofy video on Instagram. She was also paid to promote the brand’s #EasyCarryContest.

Repeat: catnip, influencers, demos, marketing outreach.

If it ended there, this is not a column and you’d be reading about how Melania Trump is in the Witness Protection Program. But Mulvaney’s ho-hum endorsement — warped by deranged misinformation about how every Bud Light on the planet would soon have her face on it — Tasered the gremlins inside Kid Rock’s head.

On Monday, the 52-year-old Kid posted his own video on Instagram.

He is standing near a pond. He is garbed in a Fish Fry sweatshirt and backwards MAGA cap. These sartorial touches help telegraph the bona fides for any wannabe ruffian who inhabits a 27,000-foot replica of the White House: I’m just like y’all. My bathroom is the size of an airport hangar and made out of gold.

Kid rubs his chin. He is either coming off a crying jag or on the verge of tears.

“Grandpa’s feeling a little frisky today,” he says, retinas glistening, trigger finger itching. “Let me say something to y’all and be as clear and concise as possible.”

He spins around and aims an automatic weapon at a picnic table where cases of innocent Bud Light are in the firing line. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang! There is smoke. Beer spills down. Twisted aluminum bodies are strewn in the grass. Based on the ripples in the water, there may also be dead fish since Mr. Rock is not a great shot.

He whirls around again with a message for the camera.

“F–k Bud Light and f–k Anheuser-Busch. Have a terrific day.”

OK, tough guy. Now go put some cucumber slices on your eyes.

His outburst created a social contagion in the far-right ecosystem and soon anti-woke warriors were buying Bud Light to pour it down the drain. That’ll teach the company. On Wednesday, country singer Travis Tritt announced: “I will be deleting all Anheuser-Busch products from my tour hospitality rider.”

Imagine being a roadie on that tour. In addition to Bud Light, now the backstage contraband includes Budweiser, Kona, Michelob Ultra, Stella Artois, Estrella, Busch, Hoegaarden, Shock Top, and many crafts and coolers. And just wait until Mr. Tritt learns Anheuser-Busch’s parent company owns Beck’s, Corona and Leffe.

This idiot is going to be drinking mango smoothies all summer.

And for what? Because he’s outraged Bud Light threw a few bucks at a trans celebrity who is so culturally relevant she has meetings with Joe Biden and twice as many Instagram followers as Kid Rock? That isn’t “woke” — it’s capitalism.

How did we regress from “live and let live” to “die if I disagree”?

In his video, Kid Rock looked really hurt, like Bud Light had confiscated his AR-15s and demanded he eat nothing but kale. Why is he so triggered by Dylan Mulvaney?

What is the problem here?

Alcohol brands reach out to hundreds of people in the hope of evangelizing. I know this because, years ago, Labatt Blue sent me a case of beer with my face on each bottle. My wife has never laughed so hard. I looked like a terrorist who would never drink Labatt Blue. Now, if Grey Goose wants to give this a go, I won’t say no.

The far right loves to make “libs cry” while directing hashtag threats to companies such as, “Go Woke, Go Broke.” But holy hell, reactionaries like Kid Rock and Travis Tritt are the biggest snowflakes alive. Man up, you babies.

And if human decency is not enough to change your shrunken hearts and lost souls, at least be practical. You’re running out of things to boycott. Amazon, Disney, Coca-Cola, Aunt Jemima, Starbucks, NBA, Star Wars, Ben & Jerry’s, Apple, Nabisco, Chobani, M&Ms, Kellogg’s, Nike, CNN, Delta, Google — keep this up and all you’ll have left is Fox News, Chick-fil-A and the MyPillow guy. That is a life of misery.

Why did a minor partnership between Bud Light and Dylan Mulvaney make Kid Rock so incensed he felt the need to open fire on a product he previously enjoyed? It makes no sense. But it reminds me of the time conservatives flipped out after Keurig pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show and they decided to right this wrong by taking sledgehammers to their single-pod coffee makers or hurling them off rooftops.

Then the next day, these geniuses were out 100 bucks and in caffeine withdrawal.

Dylan Mulvaney is just trying to live her life. She’s not hurting anyone. Let her be. Had cavemen such as Kid Rock and Travis Tritt not turned this into dumbass opera of virtue-signalling and performance art with gunfire, it would be a nonstory.

Drink what you want. Live and let live.

Melania, where have you gone?

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