Vinay Menon: No, ‘Wheel of Fortune,’ jogging is not ‘Fun & Games’ — play the game and stop trying to go viral

Was it Aristotle or Kant who mouthed off about the philosophy of categorization?

I can’t remember. But I’d love to watch “Wheel of Fortune” with either gent, just to pick their epistemological brains. Take a recent moment from the game show that started in 1975, the year of — get ready to buy a vowel — “J*WS,” “THR*LLA *N MAN*LA” AND “W*TERG*TE.”

The closing category was, “Fun & Games.” The contestant was “Ben from California.”

The puzzle was more elusive than “Nicomachean Ethics.”

Here is what Ben from California was working with: “TA**N* A ***C* ***.”

My first thought was … “Tainting a woodchuck?”

Ben from California squinted at the board run by that ageless smokeshow Vanna White.

“Taunt a chuck guy … Chance guy? No, there’s no ‘C.’ Wacky guy? TAUNT A WACKY GUY!”

Nope. Sorry, Ben from California. The answer was: “TAKING A QUICK JOG.”

“Oh, that was so unclose,” quipped host Pat Sajak. “Yeah, you just didn’t have the letters.”

Maybe. Or did the letters he had not match the category?

As Ben from California shot back: “See, I don’t consider jogging ‘Fun & Games.’”

The exchange — it ended with Ben from California giving an awkward thumbs up to the audience — made headlines this week after the show’s Instagram posted the clip and added, “He has a point.”

He certainly does. As the first comment on the show’s Instagram post noted: “Finally! A contestant finally speaks out about the answers not matching the category!”

Is this a growing problem? Does the show throw up a “Food & Drink” puzzle and then the answer turns out to be CATNIP or SLUDGE? Hang gliding is fun. Scrabble is a game.

“TAKING A QUICK JOG” is neither.

I have a dear friend who is addicted to running. A few years ago, she was bugging me to join her on one of her bonkers missions in which her tiny soles gleefully assault the asphalt. We’d start on the Danforth, she suggested, go down to the Beaches, cut across a trail, hightail it back. Easy-peasy.

I realized she did not know me at all. I couldn’t run from the Danforth to the Beaches even if a Bengal tiger was in hot pursuit. Woman, lace up your Nikes and scram!

Even hardcore joggers would not classify “TAKING A QUICK JOG” under the rubric of “Fun & Games.” The hardcore only care about TAKING A LONG JOG. Telling a runner to find joy in a half-block sprint is like asking Tom Brady to stop turning his retirement into Groundhog Day. It can’t be done.

The conspiracy theorist in me is starting to wonder if “Wheel of Fortune” is deliberately creating “scandals” for the free publicity. When I watched that show as a teen with my mom — oh, stop, not every child can be smoking menthols with the cool kids behind the mall — it was never in the news.

It was just a game show that was way easier than “Jeopardy!”

Now? “Wheel of Fortune” generates more quarterly headlines than Tesla.

Pegged to the Ben from California brouhaha, Us Weekly published a Unabomber-length manifesto this week: “‘Wheel of Fortune’ Snafus and Wild Moments Over the Years: Mispronunciations, Controversial Puzzle Rules and More.”

There was the time Sajak accidentally opened a grand prize envelope before the contestant had spun. There was the time a contestant lost $1 million after mispronouncing “Achilles.” There was the time Sajak snapped at “ungrateful contestants” and later apologized. There was the “epic fail” when all three contestants, over nine spins, could not solve: “ANOTHER FEATHER *N YO*R *A*.”

Another feather in your gag?

Another feather in your dad?

Another feather in your map?

It was as excruciating as watching chimps try to solve the Riemann hypothesis.

But you know what’s interesting about these snafus and wild moments over the years?

Most of them happened recently.

I am now offering a prize to anyone who can provide proof of a news story that was published about a “Wheel of Fortune” cock-up before the dawn of social media. The prize? I don’t know yet. But please remember it is 2023 and I toil for a N*WSPAP*R. I am not a R*CH M*N.

So you might just win a tattered paperback of “Critique of Pure Reason.” My wife is on my case to downsize my library to make more room for her appalling keepsakes. This could be a win-win.

Show me the proof and I will send you a used book!

In the interim, it’s time for “Wheel of Fortune” to do more than be cutesy-coy on Instagram.

Ben from California was robbed. “TAKING A QUICK JOG” is not “Fun & Games” any more than hide-and-seek is a salad dressing. Give the man his prize. Or at least bring him back for another go.

I am now convinced “Wheel of Fortune” is focused squarely on “going viral.”

I give it three months until a puzzle deliberately misspells “liquefy” or “sherbet.” And if that’s not enough for a media tsunami starting with “Entertainment Tonight,” maybe Sajak will openly mock a contestant’s ethnicity before he and Vanna moonwalk into the crowd while French kissing.

“Fans Shocked After Game Show Turns Into Racist Orgy!”

I’m on to you, “Wheel of Fortune.” You cheated Ben from California for the cheap buzz.

And you just taunted the wrong wacky guy.

Give him his M*NEY or I will D*STR*Y Y*U, one used book at a time.

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