What does ‘The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’ tell us about being a woman in comedy?

The fast-talking “Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” is back.

In the remaining nine episodes of the Emmy-winning comedy series we’ll get to see if Miriam “Midge” Maisel (Rachel Brosnahan) “makes it big” and the audience (my mother) is asking what the show gets right about being a woman in comedy.

As a comedian in 2023, I can’t speak to the historical accuracy of what comedians like Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers and other women had to go through 65-plus years ago, or what all female comics go through now, but I can share what “Mrs. Maisel” gets wrong and right based on my own experiences.

Like most TV shows, there’s a lot of exaggeration but, generally, I think there’s more that rings true than not.

The fast rise to success that Midge experienced and getting representation after her first ever gig are completely unrealistic. Most comics take years to get a manager who believes in them, even if it is an eccentric character like Susie Myerson (Alex Borstein).

At the start of her career, Midge decides to do a new set each time she gets in front of the mic, thinking she doesn’t need to hone a routine because she’ll just speak her mind. The reality is that most comedians who make it look like they’re speaking casually off the cuff have spent hours carefully timing and curating every movement, act-out and vocal inflection.

Going up each night and winging it would look and sound like a spiralled rant that resembles more of a breakdown than a comedy routine.

The biggest and most glaring error in Mrs. Maisel’s comedy career is related to the opportunities she takes and, more importantly, doesn’t take. A strip club comedian? Maybe, but I can’t think of a worse place to be as a female comedian (besides Andrew Tate’s jail cell). Turning down an offer to open for one of the biggest stars of the time, as Midge did with Tony Bennett, would also never happen.

Beyoncé, call me!

Now for what the show gets right, which is surprisingly a lot.

Starting out as the “perfect wife” and supporter for her joke-stealing husband, Midge ultimately gets onstage for her first ever standup set drunk, after the painful realization that her husband is cheating on her. Almost every comedian I know has some tale of trauma. Laughing through the pain of their past to feel less alone, comedians are critical observers and use comedy as a coping mechanism to speak their truth (just ask my therapist).

Midge has a lot of privilege in her life and she uses it to get ahead. She’s thin, attractive, wealthy, and has the time and support (parents, maid, co-parent, etc.) to enter this new world unencumbered. Wealth comes with access and connections — nepo babies are very real in this industry and start out with a leg up. When you can’t afford to pay your rent, you can’t afford to do things like travel for an unpaid audition spot. If Hailey Bieber starts comedy, I’m done.

Comedy is a male-dominated industry, but women want to hear and see themselves represented onstage, which is demonstrated time and again in the show and in real life. That being said, women are still more heavily criticized for their outfits and content than men are, and it’s rare to see two of us on a lineup together because it would be “too much.”

A relationship I have a real love-hate for is the one between Midge and Lenny Bruce (Luke Kirby). I’m a hopeless romantic who wants them to be together and for her to save the damaged, sad boy inside of him but, as a comedian, I always cringe when comedians get together.

Women have to work harder and be funnier in this industry to be seen as equal to male comedians, and jumping into bed with a well-known, successful comedian early on in your career will get you a reputation, whether you like it or not. When Lenny and Midge finally answer the “will they, won’t they” question in Season 4, she feels compelled to make him promise to never forget that she’s “very, very funny” because she knows the reality of the risk she’s taking.

This industry is fickle and your big break might not be the big break you think it is.

Reading the room, knowing how far you can push the line, and when to shut up and play the game is an entirely new skill set you need to learn on the fly — Midge had to learn the hard way with Shy Baldwin (LeRoy McClain), the closeted gay singer she toured with in Season 3, getting fired for practically outing him during a set.

Being a female comedian means constantly being surrounded by misogyny, being judged for how you look over the things you say, fighting to get respect and being told you’re actually funny for a woman (which isn’t the compliment you think it is). Don’t get me started on being called a “comedienne” — I’ll fight you.

The biggest thing that the show accurately captures comes to a head in one of the final scenes of Season 4 onstage at Carnegie Hall. Midge has just turned down the chance to open for Bennett. Lenny calls her out, and tells her to go and get fired again and again if that’s what it takes, because the reality is that this is a business and her biggest obstacle is herself.

“Ninety per cent of this game is how they see you … wise up. Don’t plan. Work. Just work and keep working. There is a moment in this business, windows open, if you miss it, it closes.” These words are the simple truth for any comedian, female or not.

Being a comedian can be fun, rewarding, lonely and difficult all at the same time. You’re constantly getting rejected, failing and questioning yourself all while making the people around you laugh. If you want success you have to get out of your own way and that idea is what the show nailed in the finale of Season 4 and the one that’s going to make me come back to see how “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” goes forward.

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